Wednesday, February 21, 2007

sick leave

Sick leaves make you unpopular.

Do we have to prove that? Despite the fact that I replace my all my "sick leave"-made possible by the fact that I only work part-time, I can sense the unhappiness in my boss's reaction. Sigh.. but what do you do when you come down with a flu or a strep throat like everyone else?

The other guys may just brave it all and stay in the office-productive or not, but for me... these are enough to make me lie on my bed, with my RA and fibro joining the party.

That is a depressing development. A few months into a new job, and I thought I am doing pretty well, and now I can see the fact that I take sick leave nearly every month (even though I replace them), people still find a way to talk. I am compared to the person with a visibly broken finger- with plaster and stuff to fix it, but what I have is invisible. The sheer fatigue and widespread aches brought on my something as common as a viral infection. The IBS joining the party etc etc. Here I am, being talked about. Sigh. Despite effectively having 0 sick leave because I always replaced them, that was still not good enough.

I just wish that I get better soon.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The treatable and the untreatable

Any long time illness could cause significant distress ...


Treatable vs untreatable

visible vs invisible

controllable vs relapsing and remitting

Fatigue attack.............

Have you ever had a "fatigue attack?"

I have been unwell the past few days. As yesterday was my day off, I went to the local bookstore with a large sofa to do some browsing. I thought sitting there was one of the most relaxing things to do, and keep me away from my computer-ie protecting the joints in my hands.

Usually, I could spend a day in libraries etc, as reading is probably what I love to do most.

But yesterday, 1-2 hours into reading something which I found hard to put down, I had to stop. I felt my hands could no longer hold the book open. My joints felt warm, and my whole body ached. I could feel my energy decreasing rapidly.

I quickly left the store, and tried to do the rest of my shopping quickly. A quick dash to the pharmacy, and the supermarket to get a few things I need. All the while, I felt my energy going down..........

I had called my hubby to pick me up, while I was doing my shopping to minimise my waiting time. I probably waited for him for about 10 minutes at the bus stop.

While waiting, after a minute or two, I found it difficult to stand, and so I leaned on something. In a few minutes, even leaning was no good, and so I had to force my bum to rest on the cold metal bum rests! My bums were frozen and the man at the bus stop looked at me like I was crazy to sit there, but I really did not have energy to stand! My legs were like jelly! By the time my hubby came and stopped the car 10 metres away from me, I struggled to get to the car. And then I struggled to walk up to my apartment.

Before I changed out of my clothes, I hit the bed, and feel asleep, until my hubby woke me up for dinner.

It still scares me now-the "energy crises" like these. Just glad that it is no longer a weekly or daily occurrence which drove me insane.

got to stop now cos my hands are getting really swollen. I have been naughty, I typed when I shouldnt.

IWWWIFBA=I will write when I feel better again.

IWWT-I will write tomorrow

IWWWIFBA=I will write when I feel better again.

Do you think these will be the "in" acronyms in cyber space?

How I wish to write these downs to reply my email etc etc, especially when I am in a midst of an attack. Yeap, my RA is back in town.

It did snow, and my bones did detect it.

So, now I am aching all over, feeling really tired, and my body feels warm at all places with joints.

That is rheumatoid arthritis. It comes back as soon as you wonder if it is leaving.

.........that is all I can manage today. IWWWIFBA.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Snow detector

My joints are snow detectors.

I know medical professionals will laugh at me- old wives tales, myths etc. But heck, it had been a hell of a sensitive detector. When the weather report says snow, and my bones are fine---> NO snow. When tehy did not report snow, and my bones said "snow", it SNOWED.

Do you think they will hire me? I could be their complementary forecaster. I just need to hang around and take note about how mu joints and bones behave.

everyone says SNOWMAN tomorrow, and yet my joints have not detected BIG snowman. Lets give it 8 more hours.