Tuesday, January 02, 2007

where are my friends?

Reading through my post about teh Tsunami, I realised have always been there for my friends, through thick and thin. This, I can honestly say so. People will call me if they are in trouble. People will email me if they need help. They know I would go all out.

But where were they when I had fibromyalgia?

Fibromyalgia is such a misunderstood thing, that none.. NONE of my medically trained friends provided any sort of support except one, my university classmate who ended up as my colleague. She saw my fight after my slipped disc, and knew I am a fighter. She also happened to read up a lot about fibromyalgia because of her work. Although she was doubtful at first- people like ME was not supposed to get fibromyalgia, eventually she offered me comfort. She made me feel alright, that I was not crazy. I almost thought I was crazy, as anyone with medical training did not recognise my illness. I was deserted!

The other person was my ex-"neighbour"in the hostel, who lived next to me and brought me dinners when I could not walk because of my slipped disc, who saw how I limped and dragged myself to exams, and practically learned how to walk all over again after my operation. She totally have no idea about anything medical as that was not her major. She saw what happened to me, and believed I had a really serious problem. She was my angel.

The rest?

If you are a fibromite. You guessed it.

That is why we need awareness. My experience tells me the worse responses were my medic friends, with doctors leading the pack as "MEAN"ies! If doctors have this misconceptions, is there any wonder why we hardly get help?

Do not be silent. Our silence means others will go through what we went through. That is why I blog. Other than as a form of release (to whom could I complain about my deepest pains and fears?) I hoped to enlighten 1 soul or 2 more. These 1 or 2 more souls could have made a difference to another sufferer.

My fibro is here, I need to concede. I still have the symptoms. I just hope that i am well enough to keep this part time job. My grammar has gone to pieces,I often cannot believe the sentences i composed when I reread again, I use inappropriate words without realising, I am tired before the end of the day, I still cant keep normal sleeping hours............but I am trying my best. I try. Really hard.

Does anyone understand me??

2 comments:

laura said...

yes, i understand you perfectly.

and i applaud your efforts. and wish you lots and lots of luck with the job thing. i know its hard, and thats its a really important step.

by the way, i totally hear you about the friend thing. i have a ritual that I do every Jan 1st. I call it tribal cleansing (ok thats a really bad name...must change it). I go through my phone book, and survey each contact, and if my "friends" don't deserve me as their friend,I simply kick them out..and won't make an effort to call them, and just make myself unavailable. Of course I have certain criteria...I dont kick out just anyone. I know its sounds a bit harsh. But I quickly learned who my friends really were.

As a result of this cleansing, the amount of poisonous people in my tribe is minimal.

Good luck with this as well. Its not an easy process. The friends that you wrote about sound fantastic though.

fmsra said...

Thanks Laura, thanks for your comments. Comments let bloggers like us know that someone is "listening". thanks.

I think I am the one who is being "cleansed" most of the time.
I am a drop out of some of the "highly successful" personality tribes.

Yeah I have fantastic friends. And they stick to me, and let me know that I am not totally "gone case".