Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Life's little achievements.. like baking a cake..

I find "little achievements" in baking. Still out of job, and waiting for responses from a few potentials, life is suddenly "quiet" again.

It is almost a decade ago since RA strike me. It is not the pain which is a pain, it is the fact that it takes a way my energy. And even on days I feel totally energetic, I am still at its' mercy. If I " overdo" things, I get a flare.Full stop. So, energy is a precious commodity which needs to be strictly rationed. And oh, have I forgotten about the fibromyalgia??

Having been active person and a "high achiever" all my life, I find the lack of energy and and all those problems a had really depressive. Gatherings and seasons like Christmas is not easy for me. These are the times I am forced to look at what my my close friends are up to. While I am always so happy to hear their achievements and so proud of my friends= gals who kick asses, sometimes it is quite difficult not to "notice" the GAP! These people are now directors, managers, specialist doctors, assistant professors, consultants etc etc and some juggle a successful careers with kids. They bought swanky houses, drive nice cars, fly around to do business etc.At those times my RA and fibro cause trouble, I can only sit and watch life goes by. Is it a wonder that chronic illness patients like us need to fight depression at all times? Ok.. got to stop here.. this is negative!

Anyway, now that I am a "veteran" in living with RA and fibro, I learn to create my own little achievements- yes, daily achievements! Hmmm.. like baking muffins. I am pleased to announce that I have now progressed to cakes! I should be thankful, as just over 1-2 years ago, I could only do muffins (since they only need to to "mix" dry and wet ingredients together). Now I am onto cakes, which need much more energy!

Today I baked a really yummy blueberry cake! Big deal, yeah? Yes, it is big deal. It is a big deal for someone like me. It is a big deal for people like us. It is a big deal, as it is a way for me cope with my illness, to ensure that I feel that I am still learning something new everyday, I am still "achieving" something daily. It is a big deal, as I did so many things to improve my health, to get myself from a state of "barely having the energy to make muffins" to not being worried at I might fall asleep from fatigue while the cake is baking. These are no tiny feats! Ask any CFS/Fibromyalgia patients! It is big deal, as without these little achievements, it is too easy to fall prey to Depression.

Here are the recipes for the blueberry cakes I made. I have a good day cake and a bad day cake. Go on, try it!
(Try to do the good day recipe when your hands/wrist are fine) No worries about the washing. They are so good that either the dog will lick things clean or the significant half/kids will be willing to wash up.

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