Friday, July 28, 2006

Swell day

What a swell day. This morning I did not get up despite the alarm clock, despite the fact that I know I had to get up to get something important done.

I was “aware”, but not able to get up.

More than 2 hours passed in that state. Finally I got up. LATE.

My body was aching all over, hands swollen. My swollen feet “ouched” when I forced it to bear the weight of this 80 kg giant.


I was very angry with it coming at that time. Then I remember the good doc told me to catch my blood profiles during the flare.

What followed was frantic phone calls, going to one clinic after another and then finally taking blood, and getting an appointment to see my rheumatologist, at a reduced rate. The appointment is one month later, but at least I got my blood profile.

What a frantic day. To my classmate, she probably does not know what it is like. I talk to her, “like normal”. God knows how stressful it was. I was “fog checking” all the time, and pulling all my strength to carry on. At one time, I almost slipped and fell down the stairs.

To an outsider, I am normal. Ok, I am an overweight woman, who shuffles a little, probably due to the weight? Unless they shake hand with me, they would never notice that I have a special warmth about me. Yup. I am warm.

I am usally 36.5, and when I “flare” it goes up to 36.7 to 37.0. I never officially qualify for the typical mild fever. To begin with, I am colder than usual.

Should I be proud of myself? Yeap. I am very. I only took 2 cab trips. All others are by train and bus. In the train, I even gave up my seat to an elderly woman with a cane. I thought “young, “mild” arthritic giving up place to old, “severe” arthritic”. What is this world coming to? An old woman with a cane has to walk from coach to coach to find a seat. What happens when I become old? Is this the place where I should grow old? Horrible!

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