Sunday, February 10, 2008

What keeps you awake at night?

As I am preparing for another interview, and struggling with " to tell or not to tell", I also had to prepare for some answers to questions like "why do you want to do this"?

My two previous jobs were more in the commercial side, and people are often skeptical why you would give up jobs with more earning potential and "glamour" factor for less glamorous ones. And bear in mind, the person sitting across the table, who is fielding you the question, may have been trying to break into where you came from-unsuccessfully. In sort, there are skeptics out there who need to be convinced that you are sincere.

Why do I want to make this move? It is difficult to describe. It is a kind of feeling that I have to do something more "meaningful"? Something more meaningful, esp when it may benefit other people with various types of illnesses? If you know that I had been really ill, and I am still not feeling my best, you may "understand". If you are like me- been through hell , you will think what my career choice now is perfectly natural. But how would you know if I can't tell you about my colourful medical records?

How do I describe?

What keeps me awake.

Yes, I think I have to make a move, because I did not like what kept me awake. Apart from the aches, pains, and "ouch, I/he-hit-my-badly-inflamed-joint(s) moments", things at work could keep people awake.

While I was doing a job which directly impact the patients, my worries were where can I find the support ie money to do it. I would toss and turn, trying to find ways to make things work better etc.

While I was at the commercial sector, after proposing or doing something which I am sure benefit other patients, I had to ensure what I do would have some commercial benefits (anything without commercial interest should be aborted asap- no hope!). I would also be awake wondering whether my "great" idea is congruent to the objectives of the person(s) making the decision. You got to know their "personalities", their personal priorities aka agenda. Being kept awake by these things is totally worthless and useless.

I did not like what kept me awake at the commercial sector. I did not like lying awake wondering about meeting people's or a company's money making or a person's career boosting objectives. If I were to stay awake, I would prefer being stressed about how to benefit the patients. As an "old woman", I would not allow my beauty sleep being taken away by concerns about lining people's pocket.

Will a normal, healthy person understand my "what kept me awake" argument?

No comments: