Sunday, June 11, 2006

Words can kill.

Hubby: Why are you suddenly tired again?

Me: Because I think I am coming up with another flare

H :Again?

Me: Yeah

H: Can’t you just go out with me and book the tickets? It is very troublesome to do it for you? Why cant you do it yourself?

Me: I am too tired to get out! If I get out today, tomorrow I will be in bed the whole day, or even worse, I will be in bed for many days!

H: You are always like that. Can’t you just do this?

Me: (silent, no energy to reply)

These kinds of conversations irked me. Makes me sad, and always drive me to depression, and lose confidence of ever able to hold a job again. It devastated me!

He is my beloved husband, he sees me everyday, and yet he thinks that my fatigue is a matter of I can pull myself together and got out for a few hours.

Can’t he understand that I can’t means I can’t??

If it is the kind of tiredness that I can summon my wills and pull through, it wouldn’t be an illness to me anymore.

If he can’t understand this, how can I expect others to understand? How can I cope with going back to work?

Doesnt he realise by now these type of conversations always drive me to depression?

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